You Can’t Give, What You Haven’t Got
I remember as a kid that my sister and I were very different personalities. When we were going anywhere, she was always prepared. We used to say when she went out, she put her pants on, buckled her belt, wore suspenders, carried a piece of rope in her pocket, and a couple of safety pins just in case. When I left the house, I was like a whirlwind, and everyone hoped I remembered to put on my pants. This parable of the wise and foolish virgins reminded me of those days growing up. No doubt, my sister was the wise one, and I was outside the door, in the dark, knocking, with no oil in my lamp.
As I have prayed with this parable, I realized the truth of it is simple.”You can’t give what you haven’t got.” I think we all want to help others; we all want to live the Gospel; we all want to follow the call of Jesus. So why don’t we? We don’t because we can’t give what we haven’t got.
If I want to give patience to others, I must begin by embracing tolerance for myself. When I am short-tempered or quick with a sarcastic come-back or frustrated when someone refuses to see that, of course, I am right, and they are wrong. I need to step back a moment. Forgive myself for my impatience and ask God to fill in the patience I lack.
We need to learn to be gentle and loving with ourselves as God is gentle and loving with us. When we can forgive ourselves for our failings, we will forgive others for theirs. When we can accept our own limitations, we will be less quick to judge others’ limitations. When we allow, yes, let ourselves be loved by God, we will love like God.
Jesus is calling us to a deep well of relationship with Him in this Gospel. He is inviting us to drink deeply from the well of His love. We are invited to go to the source and be filled that our oil lamps will never go dry. The source is our relationship with God. That relationship keeps the wellspring within us flowing with the precious oil that fills the lamp of faith that burns within us. Prayer, real prayer, is the only answer.
Over the years, I have heard others say (and I admit I have said), “My work is my prayer. See the good work I do for God; that is my prayer.”
Sorry, that is not enough. That well will run dry.
I have heard said (and I have told myself), “My life is my prayer. I thank God every day for every breath I take and every bird that sings. I stay aware of the world around me and God working in that world, and that is my prayer.”
Sorry, that is not enough. That well will run dry.
Sometimes I have heard folks say, “I go to mass every week, I say the rosary, I say the prayers of the church.” I have even thought that at times in my life.
But sorry, not even that is enough.
God wants us doing the good work that needs to be done in our world; to see Him acting in the world; he wants us to go to Mass, pray the rosary, and say the Church’s prayers. But none of that, and all of that together, is not enough. Our well will run dry, and our lamp will go out.
God wants us to rest and be refreshed in His presence. He wants our time when we are silent, and He can speak to us of His love. He wants us to curl up in His arms, lean on His chest, and without words, listen to His heartbeat.
This is the relationship that will keep our well full to overflowing with the love of God and the love of ourselves. This is the love that will keep our oil lamps of faith filled. This is the relationship that will give us the heart and soul of God. We can then freely share with others the love that wells up within us.
A belt, suspenders, a rope, and safety pins don’t make us ready for anything. Only the wholehearted prayer of our soul can do that.
In God’s Unending Love,
Gwen
