Ali, Ali, Oxen Free

Jesus said the most marvelous words today to His disciples and to us. He said, “And behold, I am with you always, until the end of the age.” 

Those words are meant to be an eternal balm to our hearts. We need to hear them. We must savor their meaning. We must hold them as far more precious than any treasure of the earth.

For several summers, I served as a counselor at a Diocesan Summer Camp called Guggenheim. It was a beautiful location on the bank of the Lower Saranac Lake. Each week we hosted about 100 campers aged between 12 and 16. I am not sure which of us had the brilliant idea to play Hide and Seek with the campers at dusk in the Adirondack Mountains in the summer. But, being young and foolish, we did it every week. 

One week I found the perfect hiding spot. I was close to the edge of the woods and hunkered down in the branches of a fallen pine tree. The games began. The kids were all around me searching, and they never found my spot. After a while, the game ended, and the kids went for s’mores around the campfire. I was still hiding and being eaten alive by the most giant mosquito’s known to humankind. I never heard the “Ali, Ali Oxen Free!” summons that meant it was safe to come in. It was safe to go home. 

That memory came back to me as I read Jesus’ words, “I am with you always until the end of time.” I learned my problem that hot day in July. I had hidden too well. In my effort to “win,” I would not let myself be found. Ahh, there was the life lesson! Sometimes we hide too well from God. When we hide, we only get more disappointed and “bitten up” by life when it seems God doesn’t find us in our pain.

When we face the struggles that life hands us often, we are forced to handle the situation. Our brains take over, and we do what needs to be done. Our hearts and our souls retreat into hiding. We go through the motions quite well. While our brains handle the practical stuff, our Spirit, Soul, and Heart are “eaten alive,” and they hide. On the outside, we seem okay. On the inside, we are taking shelter for fear that life will slap us around again.

In those times, loneliness seems our only companion. Our brokenness and bruised heart are all we can concentrate on. So much so that we cannot hear the voice of God calling us to come out. We hide so well that even though it hurts to be hidden, we fear more significant hurt if we give up our hiding place. Sometimes when we are hurt, we hide so well we cannot hear the voice of God calling, “Ali Ali Oxen free.” We don’t hear His loving summons calling us out of our hiding place and into His loving arms. We hurt, we protect our pain, and we withdraw. We hide and cannot take our hands off our ears long enough to hear Jesus beckoning to us, “I am with you always, even to the end of the age.”

The moral of the story I learned those many years ago is, “Don’t hide too well.” Don’t wrap your pain so tightly inside that you can no longer hear God calling you home. 

God will not stop calling. Unlike those campers who moved on from the game, God will not move on. God will continue to call. 

God will never abandon us. Our brokenness and pain can only be soothed if we don’t allow ourselves to hide too well. God can’t make us leave the hiding places, where we protect and even nurture our hurt, anxiety, and brokenness. But He is out there calling “Ali. Ali Oxen Free.” His promise today and always is to be waiting to welcome us home into His loving arms. There we are healed.

In God’s Unending Love,

Gwen