Love as I Have Loved
Do you remember when you were a kid, leaving home to go anywhere? It could have been to school or out with friends. And, if your Mom was like mine, there was always a litany at the door. “Do you have your lunch and your homework?” “Make sure you have a dime if you need to call.” “Don’t get in trouble.” “Be careful.” and the ever-present, “Make sure you have clean underwear on that aren’t ripped, in case you end up in a hospital.”
As I reflected on this Gospel reading, that loving litany of my Mom’s came back to me. In a way, that was precisely what Jesus was doing in all of the post-resurrection appearances. He was giving us the highlights, what was most important to remember. Jesus was leaving, and just like any good parent, He was reminding us of what was most important to remember. Jesus was summarizing three years of living, loving, and teaching in a few words that would need to sustain us.
The words today are not easy ones to hear. “Love one another as I have loved you,” I admit there are some people I find it very hard to love. I want to love as Jesus did, but I am far short of the mark so very often. Negative attitudes of judgment, anger, frustration, and small-mindedness can be blocks to loving as Jesus loved. I am reminded of another passage where Jesus says what benefit is it to you if you love those who love you. Even the tax collectors and sinners do that.
In today’s reading, Jesus takes the command to love a step further. Jesus tells us that it is only by our love that people will know we are His followers. That seems to heap another layer on top of feeling inadequate in my ability to love as Jesus loved.
But a little time in prayer and asking for understanding and forgiveness brought me to a new place. Agape, loving with divine love, or put another way loving as Jesus did, is not an emotional response. It is a decision.
Let’s see if I can make that make sense. When we love and feel loved, it is an excellent gift of God. What Jesus called us to was acting out of love even when we do not have the reward of feeling loved or the warmth of loving.
Loving as Jesus did is loving the lepers in our society. It loves the ones who are cast out. While some are readily identifiable: the mentally ill, the prisoner, the violent, the ungrateful. For many, the members of the LBGTQ community would also be on that list. Even loving women is easy enough for some as long as they stay in their place and don’t make waves. But the command of Jesus is infinitely more personal than that. It means loving the neighbor who is nasty every single time we see them. It loves a member of our family who has used and abused the other family members. It loves the guy in church who we find utterly arrogant, offensive, and demanding. Loving as Jesus did is not just out there. It is very much inside of us where our hurt and prejudice live.
If we rely solely on our emotional responses, we will never meet the love bar set by Jesus. Love is a decision to treat every person, even those we find most offensive, lovingly.
The fantastic thing is that when we consciously decide to love, even when we don’t feel it, it plants a seed in our soul. Every time we choose to act out of love, even when we feel nothing but disgust, we are tending the God seed within us. With time and continued practice loving as Jesus loves will become second nature. It will be our natural response. Our tendencies to judge or dismiss others will fade, and agape will become our only reality.
Gandhi often said, “I love your Christ, but I do not see any Christians.” They will know we are Christians when we live agape and become agape.
God will give us the strength and the courage to become agape if only we desire it. If only we, without exception, decide to love as Jesus loved at every turn of life. We cannot wait for our hearts to catch up and feel love.
Jesus calls us to choose to live love, to live agape. Then the world will recognize us as Christians.
In God’s Unending Love,
Gwen
