Come Home
To be perfectly honest, when I first read the Gospel for this weekend, I groaned. There was no way I was stepping into a reflection on marriage, divorce, and adultery. If there is anyone in the world who knows less about marriage, it is one who isn’t married and has never been married. But God wouldn’t let me off that easy. I know I am walking a tightrope with Church teaching. I will remember the number of times Jesus and His Disciples did things that challenged the Pharisees to remember that the love and forgiveness of God are most important.
Some of you have been blessed to be married for many years. Your love for each other is a witness to the love of God. Marriage takes work, and every day is not hearts and flowers. But you were committed, and the foundation of love in your relationship was strong enough to withstand the sometimes hurricane-strength winds of life. You came through difficult times together, and your love and marriage are more vital than ever. You are living out your marriage commitment. You are a shining star that guides and blesses all of us.
I also know that this Gospel pulls up old hurts and brokenness for some of you. It rips the scabs from severe wounds. This Gospel brings up feelings of judgment and alienation. This Gospel hurts, and you feel a failure because your marriage didn’t work. It hurts because you are divorced and possibly remarried. Hearing this Gospel feels like nails on a chalkboard; your insides tighten up, and you shrink. But you are here. Thank you for being here to remind us that life and human love are not perfect. When mistakes are made, sometimes the only way to correct them is to walk away from a relationship or a marriage.
The most incredible sadness and sin are those who are divorced and remarried and are not here. They are not with us because they do not feel worthy, wanted, or welcomed. Instead, they feel judged by the Church and found undeserving.
I find it unfathomable that any young couple steeped in love for one another and who come before the altar of God to profess their love are planning to divorce. Wedding days are all about love and forever. Couples dance into marriage, planning a life together, wanting to create a family, and hoping to grow old together. They intend to handle life’s challenges and difficulties, hold one another in love, and beat back any struggles together.
But life does happen, and sometimes it is ugly and unbearable. Sometimes, the winds are so strong they rip the heart from the marriage and pull the couple apart. In marriage, couples make vows for life. When those vows become a death sentence, walking away from the marriage is the only viable option. It isn’t perfect. It isn’t what the Gospel calls us to. It isn’t what anyone hoped and dreamed of on a wedding day. But it is real life, and it hurts.
Regretfully, people often feel most unwelcome by the Church in those moments. They are broken and hurting, and they feel abandoned. There is no time when people need judgment by the Church or us less. They are already damaged enough. Very often, it is in this time of pain that they step away from the Church feeling unwanted and unwelcome.
Those broken by divorce need us as a Church more as they live out the failure of marriage than at any other time. We are called to be God, welcoming them home, binding their wounds, tempering their anger and hate. When people are most broken, we, the Church, must be most welcoming.
We all know people who feel alienated from the Church due to their marital state. We know people who feel unworthy and unwelcome, angry for being judged by the Church. They are in our families and among our friends. Invite them back. Come with them. Bring them home to the loving arms of our Church and our God. We will all be better off when they return. They need us, and we need them if we, as a Church, are to be whole and healed.
In God’s Unending Love,
Gwen
