Forgiveness is Hard
Today’s Gospel is once again, one that is very familiar. It is Jesus teaching the apostles to pray. He warns against babbling when we pray, thinking that God will hear us because we use a lot of words. Jesus gives His disciples the one prayer that has endured for all time, The Our Father. We also call it The Lord’s Prayer. For many of us, it was the first prayer we learned, and we have said it so often the words are engraved on our soul.
Our intimacy with the prayer is both comforting and dangerous. It is comforting because it is like a warm blanket on a cold evening. We fall into its rhythm, and the words carry us when we don’t have words to express how we feel.
It is dangerous because the prayer becomes rote. We say the words, but we don’t hear the words. They are words that have the danger of losing their meaning and power because we know them so well. We do not think about them as they roll off our tongue.
It is most interesting that Jesus, in this passage, says the whole prayer, and then he goes back and emphasizes one part of it. He says, “If you forgive others their transgressions, your heavenly Father will forgive you. But if you do not forgive others, neither will your Father forgive your transgressions.”
That should give us pause!
Try to imagine how many times in your life you have said the Our Father and asked God to forgive you as you forgive others. Sometimes, I hope he doesn’t take me at my word. It makes me think of that warning, “Be careful what you ask for; you may get it.”
We forgive, but sometimes there are a few exceptions.
We all have people in our lives who are hard to forgive. We all have at one time or another been wounded by the disregard, indifference, and meanness of others.
Sometimes those wounds have left permanent scars on our hearts. Forgiveness is difficult, and the words we say in the Our Father should haunt us when we pray, “forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us.” But very often, we gloss over the words, and even though we are uncomfortable, we give ourselves a pass because of the level of the hurt we have endured.
Forgiveness is hard. Let no one ever try to convince you otherwise.
When we refuse to forgive, we carry the burden of our non-forgiveness. Sometimes we just can’t forgive. Our humanness will not allow us to let go of the hurt and the anger. We somehow think our lack of forgiveness is a punishment for the other person. In reality, it is a burden we heap on ourselves. We carry that pain and that burden, they don’t. Over time it can weigh us down with sadness and bitterness.
When it is hard to forgive, we must pray and ask God to take the burden of holding onto hurt from us.
Jesus said come to me, and you will find rest for your soul, for my yoke is easy, and my burden is light. It generally won’t happen all at once, but when we pray and ask Jesus to forgive what I can’t forgive and take the pain from my heart. He will. He absolutely will. Maybe not all at once, but if we continue to pray day after day asking Jesus to lift the burden, be assured he will. You know how I know that, because Jesus said so, and he doesn’t lie or mislead.
Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us. The words are not a threat of punishment by God, but an invitation to unburden ourselves. Jesus is telling us that God wants us to put down the burden of non-forgiveness so that he can embrace us in the fullness of His forgiveness and love. As long as our hearts, minds, and arms are busy juggling the burdens of non-forgiveness, they are not free to embrace or be embraced by God.
God knows, forgiveness is hard.
In God’s Unending Love,
Gwen
