A Mary Wanna-Be
As you read this, I will have been on a retreat for nearly 3 weeks. This year I decided to use my vacation days all at once and make a personal 30-day silent retreat. I am rapidly edging toward full retirement age and want to take some time by myself with God to make sure I am still on the path He has called me to.
I suppose it is my own desert experience, not so unlike Jesus’. I do have some fear of the demons I will meet, and I hope God gives me the grace to handle them with the confidence that Jesus did. I very much want these weeks to be a time to sit at the feet of Jesus like Mary and listen. I hope to listen not so much to His words but to his heartbeat,
All my life, when I read this story, I knew no matter how much I wanted to be Mary, I was Martha. I was busy with many things. Every school, every project, every job had to be done. And when there wasn’t something that needed doing, I would create something.
I somehow got it in my head that being Martha was not as good as being Mary. But that is wrong. Just wrong.
As I age, I realize that perhaps the drive to exceed did not always come from the best motivation. I thought success was marked by accomplishment. Regretfully, it wasn’t until recently that I realized that attitude had colored my perception of myself. I got somehow twisted into believing that being loved directly correlated to how hard I worked and how many expectations I not only met but exceeded. Maybe Martha had the same misunderstanding of herself. She worked hard at hospitality because she loved Jesus. She wanted to know His love too..
The problem for Martha comes not with her bustling about being hospitable. Creating an atmosphere of hospitality is a sign of love. It is a good thing. Martha showed her love by preparing food and water that she probably had to fetch from the well so Jesus could wash His feet. She was setting the table and making the Lord comfortable. Martha was meeting and exceeding every expectation because she loved Jesus. That is good and holy. Caring for others is a sign of love.
The problem arose when the Devil needled his way into her heart. Instead of enjoying all she was doing to love the Lord, Martha began measuring it against what her sister Mary wasn’t doing.
Martha’s unhappiness started when she began comparing and complaining. She began feeling “put upon.” Then, Jesus tells her that Mary has chosen the better part.
That niggling of the Devil turned Martha’s work of love for the Lord into a burden. Her work was no longer a sign of her outpouring of love but a bone of contention with her sister. Mary seemed to be getting the Lord’s love and attention. Martha felt put out.
For Mary sitting at the feet of Jesus was her way of being hospitable. Just being present was Mary’s way of loving Jesus.
Perhaps Martha learned something that we all need to know. Be present to Jesus and welcome Him from the truth of your love. There is no better way of loving than the one we are gifted with. Being the hospitality provider and sitting and listening are both ways of showing love.
When our ministry stops being an expression of love and becomes burdensome and a cause for complaint, it is time to stop and reevaluate why we do what we do. It is time to hear His call to love and we do that best when we use our gifts.
“Stuff” needs to get done, and doing it with love shows love for Jesus. But doing is never enough. We all need to stop and simply sit close to Jesus. I imagine my ear on His chest, listening to His holy heartbeat. In that listening is where we come to know the unconditional love of God. It is from there that we do the stuff of loving with passion.
We serve because we love. Ministry and service are not about better or worse. They are about being true to ourselves. Both Martha and Mary loved Jesus in their own way. And that is good. We just need to keep the niggling of the Devil out of our loving.
In God’s Unending Love,
Gwen
