Contemplation – Part 1

False Self NOT Bad Self

Over the last several months, our homilies and written reflections have set the foundation for us to be a people of contemplation. We believe the Holy Spirit is calling us to enter ever-more-deeply into living and experiencing the Contemplative dimension of the Gospel of Christ — individually and as a parish. By contemplation, we mean God’s direct and unmediated experience dwelling within us.

We thought it best to give you a little background. Hopefully, this will enhance your prayer journey. Grace and personal relationship with God are experienced most powerfully in contemplative silence. One needs some solitude for this.

This is Part 1 of a 3-part series of reflections on Contemplative Prayer. The three parts are: 

“False Self, not Bad Self,”

“True Self = God Self,” and

“Contemplative Prayer: Called to Union.” 

In this first reflection, we examine the False Self. First and foremost, please understand the False Self is not the Bad Self. The word “false” is somewhat misleading. In our world, whether it is “Fake News,” “Alternative Facts,” or internet scams, we see them as bad, and they are. False Self is not like Fake News. It is not to be avoided but embraced, understood, and eventually transcended.

We were born with instinctual biological needs — survival/security, affection/esteem, and power/control. Interacting with our parents, siblings, schooling, religion, culture, and society, we developed deeply embedded “energy centers.”These became emotional programs for happiness that could never possibly work. However, in the beginning, these programs unconsciously motivate us. Some people never outgrow them, and sadly, they are never truly happy or at peace. Spiritually, they have not “awakened” to the gift of life. They’ve become identified with their False Selves.

Our False Self continually wants to look good in the world. It is also called the small self or the ego. The False Self takes offense, compares, critiques, judges, and blames. It is at work constantly, whether we notice it or not. Its world is relatively small, superficial, and full of petty concerns. Simply put, the False Self is where the “drama” in our life thrives. It is the part of us always striving and manipulating others to gain security, love and esteem, power and control. Only the False Self gets insulted and allows the approval or disapproval of others to dictate how it feels. Only the False Self gets offended by what someone says — or prideful when praised. Conversely, the True Self is untouchable! More about that next week.

Before we transcend it, our False Self interacts with the world. It is how we respond to other persons, to situations, and even to ourselves. You may be thinking, “Okay, so what? We all have to interact with the world. That is just who we are.” The real question is, “How is my response to the world bringing me closer to union with God and the peace that passes all understanding?” Some examples might help.

As a very small child, I sensed there was never enough money. I picked up the fear both of my parents had. I was ashamed at times. I developed a “survival/security energy center” and would become an adult who worked herself to death to be financially successful, but it was never enough.

Let’s say I grew up in a family with a father who was obsessive-compulsive. I believed the only way to earn his love was to be perfect. Then, in my yearning to be loved, I grew up needing to do everything perfectly. When something wasn’t perfect, it meant I failed and was unloveable. I developed an “affection/esteem energy center.”

Let’s say I grew up in a family where I dealt with abuse — a family where yelling, screaming, and hitting were how problems were solved. I might grow up timid and afraid. Or, I might mimic the violence for having internalized the anger. Either way, I develop a “power/control energy center.”

Think about your own growing up, especially between birth and age 7. How did you know you were loved? What fears did you experience and internalize? How you learned to get your needs met coalesced into what we are calling the False Self. Not bad; this was necessary for human development. It’s only false because it isn’t the real — or “True”. You are something with divine DNA, made in God’s image.

Recognizing my False Self, I am not controlled by it anymore. I die to it — and gladly so! Next week’s bulletin will ponder the meaning of the True Self. We will find the God within Who is luring us ever closer to a loving union. The True Self is experienced as both Love and Beloved. It survives death.

In God’s Unfailing and Unending Love,

Father Jerry and Gwen