Dancing in the Truth

One of the truths I was told long ago was if you want to know about your priest’s spirituality, listen closely to his preaching. A priest cannot hide his personal journey with the Lord when he preaches. Sharing faith and the Gospel can only come from the truth of who he is and how God works. I am beginning to realize that those who read my reflections regularly probably know more about my spirituality than any spiritual director. I admit I struggled with this one.

This Gospel reading speaks about humility. Jesus tells us, “Whoever exalts himself will be humbled. And whoever humbles himself will be exalted. That is a passage that digs down deep into our souls if we let it. When we allow this Gospel to take root, it causes discomfort. 

 Humility is a virtue, and we all seek it on some level. But I am not sure we understand what humility is. Perhaps the place to start is looking at what humility is not.

Humility is not sackcloth and ashes. It is not a “woe is me” attitude. Living life always looking at what is wrong with ourselves and how we have failed is not Gospel humility.

Humility is not false modesty. It is not looking into the eyes of others and saying or, more tragically, believing we are not good enough. Believing our past sins or present failings make us unworthy. That is not the Gospel humility that Jesus calls us to live.

Humility is not holding back and always letting others be first. Humility is not taking God’s gifts and placing them under a basket. Suppose I am reticent to put my light on a lamp stand and others flounder in the darkness because I was too humble to share my light. I am not living Gospel humility. 

So, if Gospel humility is none of those things, what is it? How do I place my life into the truth of this Gospel and live Gospel humility?

Gospel humility is living the fullness of who God created me to be. It is not puffing myself up. So, my ego becomes more important than the Gospel. When I do that, I tell Jesus to move over because I have this. Neither is it always hanging back and hiding the talents and gifts God has given me. When I take that stance, I tell God His gifts are not strong enough for me to share them. I am saying through my actions that I don’t trust him enough to give others what he has given me. I am not willing to allow Him to work through me.

Living Gospel humility is letting go of fear. It is fear that leads to puffing ourselves up or running ourselves down. It is fear that I am not enough, just as God created me. 

Living in my ego is an outward expression of fear that if anyone looked too closely, they would see the cracks in my armor. They will see my weakness. Boasting and pride become a cover for the insecurity that makes its home deep in my soul. It becomes the armor I put on to protect myself and my fragile self-image.

Likewise, failing to stand bravely and share freely the gifts God has given me comes from fear. It is a fear that I am not good enough, just as I am. I fear that I might be exposed in my weakness.  Exposure is so frightening I cannot even lift the corner of the bushel basket that covers my light. Being genuinely humble means trusting God enough to use all the good, blessings, and talent He has placed within me.

There is no fear in Gospel humility. Gospel humility is living in the truth of who I am with all its blessings, gifts, challenges, and limitations. Gospel humility is stepping forward when I have a gift to share or wisdom to bring to a situation. 

Gospel humility is dancing freely and unabashedly in the truth of who we are without worrying that we will look foolish. Gospel humility is having enough faith in God to sing even when we do not know the notes. Gospel humility is the wonder of living in God’s outrageous and overwhelming love.

In God’s Unending Love,

Gwen