Do You Love Me?

These post-resurrection passages are just so wonderfully warm and endearing. The disciples are out fishing. What else would they do? Jesus was dead, His body missing, and just like us, when we lose someone we love, we have to sooner or later get back to our lives. I imagine they were still shocked by grief and did the only thing they knew how to do. They fished.

In such a loving way, Jesus comes to them. They have been fishing all night unsuccessfully. Just one more discouragement to add to the pile of disappointment and heavy-heartedness they were already experiencing. They were tired. Jesus has a fire going on the shore waiting for them. Jesus is meeting His disciples where they are in their sorrow and loss. So much like a mother tending to the broken hearts of the ones she loves. He tells them to cast the net one more time, and they catch so many fish they can hardly bring in the net. Isn’t that how their relationship started in the very beginning? Wasn’t this a mirror image of Jesus asking them to follow Him? They remember, and they recognize Him, Jesus, the one they love.

Jesus and Peter have an intimate moment. Jesus asks Peter 3 times if he loves Him. Peter answered yes all three times. I have often thought this was a balance to the three denials of Jesus. But it is so much more, for Peter and for us.

Our English language is so limiting. We have only one word for love. Whether it is popcorn, a brand of clothing, our children or spouse, or God, we use the same word. We presume the hearer knows what we mean. In Greek, there are three words for love. Eros is the love of romance and passion. Phileo is brotherly love, a love for neighbors and others. And agape which is the divine love between God and His people.

When Jesus asks Peter the first time, “Do you love me?” Jesus uses the word agape. And Peter responds using the word phileo. So Jesus tries again and asks Peter, “Do you love me?” again using the word agape. Peter again responds using the word phileo.

Peter still isn’t getting it. Jesus is talking about divine love, and Peter responds with the word for brotherly or familial love. So Jesus asks a third time. If you are like me, this time, you are sure Peter finally got it and responds with the word agape, Divine love. But, it is not so. Instead, Jesus changes the question. The third time He asks Peter, “Do you love me?” he uses the word for brotherly love, and Peter again responds using the same word for brotherly love.

This is such a tender exchange between Jesus and Peter. There is no reproach. Jesus hears Peter’s response, and He accepts it. Then Jesus even modifies the question to make it match Peter’s answer. Peter, who has been through so much with Jesus, still doesn’t understand the divine love of God. But he will. Peter will know suffering and persecution for the sake of Jesus. Peter will know at the very depth of his being his divine love for Jesus. He just isn’t there yet.

This isn’t just a poignant story that we look at from the outside. This is a story meant for us as much as it was meant for Peter. Our love for God can be very fickle and shaky. A tragedy occurs in our lives, and we begin to question God and God’s love. Sometimes through plain neglect, we move away from the love of God. Sometimes, when we are desperate, we come back to proclaim our love and beg for God’s help.  

Like Jesus met Peter where he was, God meets us where we are. Our God does not demand our love. Love cannot be mandated. Our God instead loves us with divine agape, and no matter where we are in our relationship with Him, He meets us there and calls us along the road of loving. As a result, our love relationship with God changes and grows. God meets us where we are, just like He met Peter.  

There is no room for recriminations. God knows love grows, and he is helping us along just like a parent watching their child’s baby steps. God’s agape is infinitely patient and forgiving. We need not run into God’s arms shouting our love, our agape. He takes us where we are, and we too will come to agape like Peter.  

On the day when God calls us home, He will whisper in our ear, “Do you love me?” Then our response, “Yes Lord, you know I love you” will speak only of agape. Then our love will become one with God’s overwhelming love for us.

In God’s Unending Love,

Gwen