I Am Not A Racist

Yesterday afternoon I looked at the readings for today and decided to take the day off from writing a reflection. The Gospel from Matthew (Matthew 5:17-19) is all about the law and Jesus not abolishing the law and being held accountable for the smallest infraction of the law. I simply had nowhere to go with the reading. There was nothing in it that resonated in my heart.

Last night, I watched the news, and it seemed that I was watching a rerun of the same report I had seen for the last several weeks. Protests, George Floyd, Black Lives Matter, violence, and at its core, racism was the news. I did not want to hear it again. I tried to close my ears and not hear again about the oppression and prejudice of the black community. I kept thinking, “I am not a racist, what is happening is terrible, but this isn’t about me.” Being perfectly honest, I was thinking, “Make this go away. Don’t make me look at this anymore.”

But, as with all things of God, He kept nudging me all evening and into the night. God kept pushing me not to dismiss racism as someone else’s issue (because, of course, I am not a racist). The Hound of Heaven was at it again, chasing me as I ran from the issue and made excuses not to look the reality in the eye. God wanted me to see that racism is my problem. It is our problem. There is no way to be a person of the Gospel and not own the racism issue in our society.

Oppression leads to violence, always. The systematic abuse of the Black Community for generations that lives at the core of our society leads to poverty, dismissal, and violence. We need to own that. People can only be pushed back so long before they fight back.

Racism has become normalized in many parts of our society. While we have made some strides over the years to make things right, they all only scratch the surface. Yes, there are more television shows with black actors. The black guy in the movie is not always the bad guy. Good guys don’t always wear white hats and bad guys black ones. We are making small steps; we are a tad less evident with our disapproval when we see mixed-race marriages. We do see a few more black doctors and company executives. But these steps are all only an inch deep. The root of the problem is much more profound.

I am not saying we don’t need to continue to work legislatively to equalize opportunities and acceptance because we do. But these things and the many other steps we have made and will make, will not end or change the racism in our country. A black Supreme Court Justice and a black President didn’t change the depth of the racism in our country. Equal pay, equal rights, and equal access to education won’t change it either.

Racism is only changed when we change. Prejudice in our society is a symptom, not the disease. The disease is racism, and that is a disease of our hearts and soul. It can be helped by legislation but not eradicated. Eradication will only come when we exorcise the demon of presumed superiority from our hearts. Racism will only be conquered when we dig deep down through centuries of oppression and pull out the very roots of racism from ourselves and then from society.

So how do we change the culture of racism? Perhaps the first step is to acknowledge that racism does exist. And, it does not just exist “out there,” it lives in me. Racism is not someone else’s problem. It is my problem. No matter how well I cover it, it is my problem.

We must pray and beg God to help us to exorcise this demon from ourselves. We must take a probing honest look at our attitudes, behaviors, and hearts and admit that we have work to do in ourselves and our society.
I need to stop saying, “I am not a racist.” Instead, I need to beg God to help me see any roots of racism that live in me. I need to pray to God to help me take the plank of racism out of my eye before I try to remove it from someone else’s eye.

May God forgive us individually and as a society for the sin of racism. May he fill our hearts with acceptance and love for one another.

In God’s unending love,
Gwen