Put Down the Scissors
Road rage, social media rants, shock jocks, media bias, and school, mall, and concert shootings plague our society. And that list is in no way exhaustive. We have become a society that lives with scissors as our primary weapon. Yes, that’s right, I said scissors!
If we do not agree with someone, we cut them out of our lives. If we don’t like someone’s political opinion, we demonize them, and our scissors cut them apart. If someone is displeased with what someone else has said about them, they get trashed on social media or iced out of their lives. Clip clip clip goes the scissors, excising the other from our lives.
We have lost the fine art of talking to one another. And perhaps far more importantly, listening to one another. If someone says or does something that bothers me, they become the enemy. And enemies pay. If they do not pay with overt violence, they pay by being isolated. They pay by being cut out of a group, a family, or a relationship.
As I have thought about this, I realized that while this may sound like an overstatement, it isn’t. Does anyone remember when neighbors did not shoot one another over where they left their garbage can? Does anyone else remember not worrying about shootings when they sent their child to school or allowed them the treat of an afternoon at the mall? How about when political campaigns spoke about what the politician would do rather than what was wrong with the other guy?
Sadly, the norm in our lives has become one of violent responses. Yes, refusing to speak to someone, blocking a “friend” on our phone, and closing our hearts and minds to any person or group I dislike is violent. Turning our back on others is attacking others with the scissors of isolation and judgment.
So, how did I get on that rant? The Gospel of Jesus helped me see clearly how violent our non-violent reactions to one another have become. No doubt there is more than enough overt violence in our lives. There is also a heap of hidden violence that wounds, maims, and kills, if not the body, the spirit.
Jesus tells us in this parable that we must love one another enough to try to be at peace. He reminds us that the answer is not to walk away. It is not to cut people out of our lives and our hearts.
I remember a long time ago, I was young and facing a difficult situation. To deal with it, I would confront a well-respected person about what he was doing. Sister Joseph Marie, a sister I lived with in the convent, shared this wisdom. She said, “Do you love him enough to confront him? If you are unwilling to journey with him through his response to peace, you have no right to confront.” She told me I had no right to do a hit-and-run. I had to be willing to live in the messiness of the aftermath of the conversation.
Jesus is telling us the same thing. Speak with love and care when you and another have something that separates you. Be honest and try to journey together to a place of peace. When we look at this Gospel as an extension of the Gospel that tells us to forgive our “brother” seven times seventy times, it gives us a clue. It is an indication of how much love we need to have when we come into a conflict with another.
Regretfully, there are times when we have done all that we can, and we leave a relationship knowing there is no road to the future. But that is always a last resort. We go from the relationship not with anger but with reluctance, sadness, and peace because we have done all we can.
We all need to put down our scissors and stop cutting people out of our lives. Every time we cut someone out, they become more isolated, and so do we. That is not of the Gospel. That is not the way of Jesus.
In God’s Unending Love,
Gwen
Put Down the Scissors is a message I will keep with me. It is a striking image, scissors, that can result in harm, but also put to good. It reminds me of “Edward Scissor Hand” but also of pinking sheers for sewing and decorating. A long ago class used ripping and tearing of garments as in the weeping women of the Bible who wailed and rent their clothing in at a loss. We were instructed to sit in a darkened room and to tear a piece of clothing we wore and liked. I chose jeans; others shirt collars and sleeves. We were to do it slowly focusing on the sound and record our sensations, reactions, and feelings. Then with light restored to turn the garment into something else. I chose to make the ripped denim a jean skirt. The collar and sleeve rippers produced short sleeved shirts and muscle shirts, and be sure that the result was something we liked and would wear again.
The purpose was to experience grief at something we valued assaulted or torn away. And then at a larger time to take matters into our own hands and transform what was broken or harmed into something that was acceptable and perhaps liked better. To feel how transforming something could restore peace of mind. Perhaps contentment, even joy. Could it restore hope? We would find out in days ahead we were encouraged to repeat the exercise at times of stress: a break in relationships, an angry confrontation, a job loss, and instance of impending loss.
It is a practice I have repeated many times when anger, stress, and hurt have been overwhelming.
Thank you. Gwen Cote, for expanding on this concept to when scissors may not be the best way to resolution. And to think again if find ourselves reaching for scissors.