The Face of God
Have you ever seen the face of God? A few times in my life, I have. I know that sounds pretentious, but it is true. Each time I have seen God’s face, I have been forever changed. I believe God is constantly giving all of us opportunities to know him and to see him. Those often come to us in simple ways: the kindness of a stranger, the patience of a friend, and the consolation of others when life is hard. But sometimes, we see the face of God, and it stops us in our tracks. We see the face of God, and we can never be the same again; our hearts are turned around, and we experience what the theologians call metanoia.
I saw the face of God in the face of a woman named Carmela, who I met nearly 25 years ago at a conference in Mexico. Carmela spoke about why she forgave the soldiers in El Salvador that killed her husband, Eduardo. He was killed for teaching the neighborhood children that God loved and forgave all people and that all of us are the same in God’s eyes. I will never forget her words, “I forgive them, I forgive the soldiers from my heart because if I do not forgive, my Eduardo died for nothing.” I saw the face of God in Carmela that day. I saw the depth of what God’s forgiveness really means. God taught me through Carmela how to forgive from my heart and allow myself to be forgiven.
I saw the face of God in the eyes of a homeless man named Walter, whom I befriended and fed regularly when I lived in the Bronx. After months of talking with Walter, providing food for him, and becoming his friend, I saw him in the lobby of the parish church. He began to make a massive scene about knowing me and being my friend. I was embarrassed by the scene he was making and walked away from him that day, not acknowledging him. And although I looked for many years, I never saw Walter again. He never again came to my home to share my food or my company. But, I did see the face of God when I glanced at Walter as I walked by him that day and saw the betrayal in his eyes. My actions shamed me. But God taught me that day, in the betrayed eyes of a homeless man named Walter, what love, steadfast loyalty, friendship, and trust mean. I have never been the same.
I saw the face of God in a woman named Lily, who was in Calvary Hospital in the Bronx. Calvary is a hospital for those who are terminally ill with cancer. I had the opportunity to be with Lily during the last few days of her life. Lily was a black woman who lived through every degradation of bias and bigotry. As she approached her death, her last conscious words to me were, “I can love you if I want. I know you’s white and I’s black, but that’s what love is. Love don’t know no color.” When Lily quietly took her last breath and slipped from this world to the next, I saw the face of God. God came and took her home. As he whispered her name and beckoned her to come to him, pure grace and peace came over her features. Lily’s face became the face of God.
In the Gospel today, the disciples had a moment of seeing and recognizing the face of God. They went with Jesus up the mountain to pray. The apostles saw the face of God. They recognized him as they never had before. They finally knew him as the Messiah and were overwhelmed. The disciples wanted to hold onto the moment. In the face of Jesus on that mountain, they saw the face of God, and they were forever changed. They found the unfathomable depths of love for the God they would live for and the God they would eventually die for.
When we are privileged to have those sacred moments in our lives when we see the face of God, we can’t hang on to the moment. Instead, we must allow it to be our teacher. We stand in awe of the moment, and we are forever changed. Our hearts experience a metanoia, and there is no going back. Look for the face of God. Look every day at the simple and the profound. Look and see. God is casting his gaze on you and me. We must be open to seeing his face. We must be open to change.
In God’s Unending Love,
Gwen
